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Post by Wyndham on Jun 8, 2005 8:08:46 GMT -5
This is funny, but only in context. What's not funny: the man involved was a knife toting, tool box mass murderer. What is funny: he was recently allowed into the US despite the fact that he was: a) wanted in the US; and b) showed up at the border carrying a blood-stained chainsaw, hunting knife, brass knuckles, and some of the other tools of his trade! So much for heightened security . . . www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20050608.wxslaying08/BNStory/National/ |
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Post by Tenarke on Jun 8, 2005 17:49:10 GMT -5
Well, you see, there weren’t any wants or warrants, and it says right here in the book…..
Sheesh! If all the weapons didn’t tip them off, you’d think the face in that photo would sort of set off a few alarms.
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pinkozcat
Full Member
Remember - pillage first, THEN burn.
Posts: 233
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Post by pinkozcat on Jun 8, 2005 18:58:44 GMT -5
LOL - you are so right, Tenarke. I took one look at the photo and thought "Uh-oh!! a psychoceramic"  |
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wordswordswords
Full Member
"There's no harm in hoping." - Voltaire
Posts: 178
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Post by wordswordswords on Jun 8, 2005 20:41:22 GMT -5
Maybe so many of us U.S. citizens look like that that it doesn't raise any red flags....
Seriously, though, I wonder about that photo. Could he have been wearing a mask? Or have a lot of makeup on? He looks unreal, inhuman, somehow. But maybe it's the photography.
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Post by Wyndham on Jun 8, 2005 21:09:55 GMT -5
Alas Words. I think he's one of ours. You'd think, though, that he might get a more thorough going over than my Mom, for example, who gets treated like Osama Bin Laden in disguise every time she tries to enter the US. But I guess an elderly female Ontarian is just what you'd expect him to disguise himself as, as the last thing Osama would ever think to disguise himself as. Perhaps its the 'no profiling rules' kicking in. Just because he looks like something from Day of the Dead and happens to be carrying a bloody chainsaw, that doesn't make him necessarily a chainsaw toting crazy!
Oh thank God! I've just reviewed the article and I see that he is now one of yours! You've got him; the UK got Conrad Black -- you can't give them back now, you hear?
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Post by Wyndham on Jun 14, 2005 16:53:37 GMT -5
This is hilarious. You might think its a joke, but check out the website! In case there was any doubts that the US Army is prepared to take action given recent allegations of abuse etc., set those to rest instantly. Its just issued a handbook on how to give evidence before congressional committees -- complete with funny little cartoons, and everything.  Totally legit. Honest to God! www.tradoc.army.mil/tpubs/misc/HANDBOOKTestifyingBeforeCongress.pdf |
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Post by Tenarke on Jun 14, 2005 17:51:51 GMT -5
What’s most convincing is sincerity. Once you can fake that you can sell 'em anything.
And, oh yes; make sure your socks match.
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Post by Tenarke on Jun 15, 2005 19:25:00 GMT -5
After thinking about this overnight:
If the required dress for military personnel testifying before congress is full dress “Class A” kit, how could the witness’s socks not match?
By definition everything should match; right down to his skivvies.
This needs investigation.
Should be referred to the appropriate Congressional Committee.
Witness should be called!
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Post by Wyndham on Jun 17, 2005 12:07:26 GMT -5
A friend sent me this. Rather funny. Thought some of you might like it:
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it)!
The answers are just a joke but the questions were really asked.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. .
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a llist of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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pinkozcat
Full Member
Remember - pillage first, THEN burn.
Posts: 233
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Post by pinkozcat on Jun 24, 2005 22:14:59 GMT -5
"You can fool some of the people all of the time."
The former boyfriend of Sydney woman Keli Lane said yesterday he had "no comprehension whatsoever" that she twice fell pregnant and gave birth during their four-year relationship.
Duncan Gilles gave evidence at the coronial inquest into the disappearance and suspected death of the second of those children.
The child went missing two days after Ms Lane gave birth at Auburn Hospital on September 12, 1996.
Westmead Coroner's Court has heard that Teagan was one of three children whose births Ms Lane kept secret from family and friends.
Two other babies born in 1995 and 1999 were legally adopted out but Ms Lane said she gave Teagan away to the natural father, a man with whom she had an affair.
Ms Lane had nominated Mr Gilles as the father of all three children in adoption and hospital records, the inquest heard.
Mr Gilles, 33, told the court he never suspected Ms Lane was pregnant or had been unfaithful during their relationship from 1994 to 1998. Council assisting the inquest, Sgt Rebbecca Becroft, asked Mr Gilles if he had any idea Ms Lane was pregnant during their relationship.
"It's obvious the case that Keli was pregnant while she was in a sexual relationship with you. At any time during 1995 and 1996 did you suspect that Keli was pregnant?" she asked. Mr Gilles answered: "No. I understand how it looks. I had no comprehension whatsoever that she had two babies ... in the four years I was going out with her."
Describing his reaction to learning of the pregnancies, he said "a hell of a shock is a bit of an understatement".
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pinkozcat
Full Member
Remember - pillage first, THEN burn.
Posts: 233
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Post by pinkozcat on Jun 28, 2005 0:40:16 GMT -5
This article was in yesterday's WestAustralian Newspaper. I can't give you the link because I have to pay dearly for the privilege of reading the paper on-line.
The article is titled:
OPEN FORUM: NO COMMENTS PLEASE
With a fierce debate under way into planned changes to Western Australian secondary education system, the state Curriculum Council has set up an internet discussion forum to allow opinions to be aired.
“You are invited to explore with your colleagues and the Curriculum Council the impact and potential of the changes,” the forum’s introduction reads.
It sounds simple enough but following a tip-off to InsideCover we decided to put the forum’s accessibility to the test.
“The current situation can’t be good enough and we need feedback from schools,” was the first message IC tried to post. What could be wrong with that?
“Error,” was the immediate response from the forum moderator. “The following words are not allowed on this discussion board: current, feedback. Please revise your post to remove the words indicated above.”
Perplexed as to why “current” and “feedback” would be taboo in education circles IC tried again.
“The situation can’t be good enough and we need schools,” the next attempt posted read.
Back came the response saying IC had erred again. “The following words are not allowed on this discussion board: “can’t.”
Surely the discussion forum’s moderator can’t be serious?
“Comment and feedback are important,” IC wrote in a new message knowing that the word feedback was banned. But the posting bounced back once again and this time the word “comment” also was banned.
Purely for fun, IC typed “you smelly little man” into the message box and this time a posting preview gave our message the all clear. “Tit, bum, bottom,” also went through uncensored.
Then we applied the ultimate test to the forum intended to attract the views of teachers. “Teachers suck,” Inside Cover wrote. No problem with that, according to the moderator.
Whatever the reason for the bizarre word screening, it explains why the following message appeared on a different internet discussion forum dealing with education changes in WA. “The CC has established a discussion forum portal for teacher and general public comment,” the message read. “As no one has yet posted a comment since it became available some five weeks ago, I am sure the CC is waiting for constructive input.”
With the word blocker in place, the CC can’t be surprised by the current lack of feedback or comment.
In today’s newspaper the Curriculum Council apologised. Their explanation? The word blocker was set to block all words beginning with “f” and “c”. This has now been corrected.
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wordswordswords
Full Member
"There's no harm in hoping." - Voltaire
Posts: 178
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Post by wordswordswords on Jun 28, 2005 1:29:08 GMT -5
pinkozcat, I loved this!
(Is there a computer programmer in the house? Looks as if one might have been badly needed in this situation.)
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Post by Aravis on Jun 28, 2005 1:44:36 GMT -5
That's too funny!
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Post by Tenarke on Jun 28, 2005 18:35:05 GMT -5
The fact that big brother is watching, or in this case listening, would be far more intimidating if only he weren't such an ninny.
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Post by RobertGraves on Jul 15, 2005 17:41:13 GMT -5
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